The Adventures of Captain X-Ploit:
Sara and Maxi’s magnificent monetary mischievous maneuver.
– Part 4 of the epic chronicle –
Strangers are just Enemies you haven’t met.
After the alien left, restoring time to its usual single dimensional, flowy self, Max and Sara found themselves at the library. Hunched over a computer, Sara was reading her way through the wiki entries on several celebrities as Maxwell was standing next to her with an awe-filled grin plastered on his face.
“Sara?” he asked, “Yes, Maxi?” Sara responded with a stunning smile on her face. “So like… wow, you’re telling me I can take any of these books and no one would care?” he asked. His fascination with this concept had less to do with the concept of taking things without people caring and more with the concept that other places were supposed to operate differently. Being famous, handsome, and lucky he had never found people to be opposed to him taking whatever he wanted anyway.
“Well, yes… but you have to run them through the little machine over there,” she gestured with a hand, not removing her eyes from the screen, “before you can leave with it.”
“Weird,” Max said trailing off, distracted by a girl walking by. “I think I’ve got all the information I need,” she said snapping Max’s attention back to her. “So like… what are we doing again?” Max asked, looking confused as Sara began to scribble several notes onto her hand. She smiled at Max without a hint of exasperation even though she’d explained it over thirty times on the way to the library.
Later that day at the bank:
Sara walked in confidently, leaving Max outside to ponder the complex plan. “Hi, I’m Sara Paylyn,” she said to the teller, “and I’d like to withdraw all my monies.”
“Sure thing Mrs. Paylyn, we just need to ask a question. For security reasons, of course.” Sara nodded and the lady began her list of questions.
“What is your pet’s name?”
Sara hastily glanced at her hand and responded quickly “Birstal.”
“Fantastic, Mrs. Paylyn! How much would you like to withdraw.”
Sara pretended to think for a moment before responding “All of it, I think.”
Several moments later:
Sara was standing outside the bank with $4,312,632.13, explaining to Max how she would surely win the contest now, when Max interrupted, “CONTEST!!! Oh man, I love contests… I wanna be a part of it!” Sara smiled at him wondering if every clone had hacking skill.
“Go for it, Maxi! What’s your plan?” she asked.
Max just shook his head, not wanting to reveal his brilliant plan, and walked confidently into the bank. At the counter the teller looked at him and said, “How can I help you, handsome?”
“Ya, hi, I’m some, like, rich dude and I want to, like, get my money… you know, like, for spending.”
“Okay…,” the lady said, her smile wavering for a moment, “What’s your name.”
“Maxwe…,” he stopped himself, “ahh… I mean,” his eyes dashed about wildly for a name he could use, “Trisha Smith” he exclaimed with a smile as he read her name tag.
Her eyes went wide for moment in shock as she responded “That’s my name, sir… what is YOUR name” she said.
His eyebrows furrowed in deep thought before reading another name off the business card on the counter. “Emmet Brown” he responded with a smile.
“You’re not Mr. Brown! Mr. Brown owns this bank and you’re far more handsome than he is.”
“I had plastic surgery…” Max smiled his perfect smile at her.
“Okay, well I have to ask you this question to be sure. What is your favorite color?”
Max puzzled for a moment thinking how to respond before he finally decided to guess at random, “Hot Pink”
Trisha looked astonished, staring at him “Emmet, is that really you?”
“Yes, now, I’d like to take the money please.”
“Of course, sir,” she said shuddering a little, “How much do you need?”
“All of it would be nice,” he responded without hesitation.
“All of the money in the bank?” she asked in amazement.
“Yes.” He responded politely with a smile.
That night at midnight:
Sara and Max were standing waiting for David to appear. Sara couldn’t help but feel a little crestfallen. As much as she liked Max and enjoyed seeing him win, she had only $4 million to her name whereas Max had walked off with the entire contents of the bank. Which happened to be transported at the moment in the truck of a man he had paid $1,000.
At least I can still beat David, that smug jerk, she thought as she saw David and Tedward walking up the street toward her.
At last we’re back to the hacking contest betwixt David and Sara – and Maxwell it seems – with Sara (and Max) using a tried and true exploit against weak authentication. I love the part where Maxi (AKA the stupidest life form in existence) is the one to hit the mother-lode by sheer dumb (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) luck. Much like the “hackers”, script kiddies and others who are routinely publicized by the panic-stricken (and panic-mongering) popular press. It ain’t rocket science folks. But it works. Really, really well. I’m still pulling for David and his mouse minions, though. How can you not be partial to plans involving cohorts like Mr. Biscuits, Señor Sparkles and Dr. Whiskers?