Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
If it’s gettin’ cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don’t like it, you can’t send it back
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
From Eat It by Weird Al Yankovic
And in news of the weird, we have this article from The Smoking Gun entitled Giga-Biter In Obstruction Charge that begs an entire post filled with genuine potty humor.
In a bold and bizarre attempt to destroy evidence seized during a federal raid, a New York City man grabbed a flash drive and swallowed the data storage device while in the custody of Secret Service agents
Yowza! I would have loved to hear the e-discovery motions by the prosecution on this one. [The following scenario is entirely fictional and occurred only in the mind of the author].
Prosecutor: Your honor, in order to access the evidence acquired through the legal search warrant we will require a court order to administer laxatives and/or enema to the defendant.
Judge: WTF! Is that some new encryption protocol?
But sadly they were able to avoid any hilarious legal maneuvering the old fashioned way. Through collusion with friendly medical professionals.
When [the suspect] was unable to pass the item after about four days, doctors – concerned that the drive was not compatible with the suspect’s GI tract – concluded he “would be injured if they allowed the flash drive to remain inside of him”. [The suspect] eventually agreed to allow doctors at New York Downtown Hospital to remove the item, according to a source familiar with the incident.
I must concur that a flash drive is probably not compatible with your GI tract. Although passing it would definitely be a pain in the… Well, you get it. So, presumably after cleaning up the evidence, [this adds a whole new meaning to "sanitizing data"] there was still the question of whether the data was damaged by the tour of the suspect’s digestive system.
A Kingston executive said it was unclear if stomach acid could damage a flash drive. “As you might imagine, we have no actual experience with someone swallowing a USB device”.
Since the case is still pending, we have no idea of the ultimate disposition or disposal of the evidence. Or of the state of the suspect’s GI tract.
