Recently Microsoft announced that they would be opening retail stores. Presumably in an attempt to replicate the success enjoyed by the Apple stores. Now if you are wearing your jaded Apple fanboy hat this may appear as yet another daffy, half baked, rip off idea. Well fortunately Brennon Slattery at PC World has written an article to disabuse us of this predictable misconception entitled 10 Ways Microsoft’s Retail Stores Will Differ From Apple Stores.
- Instead of Apple’s sheer walls of glass, Microsoft’s stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes — reminiscent of Windows security.
- The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason.
- Instead of a “Genius Bar” (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes, and explaining it’s a problem with the hardware — not a software bug.
- The Windows Genuine Advantage team will run storefront security, assuming everybody is a thief until they can prove otherwise.
- Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No word yet on what happens to customers inside).
- Stores will be named Microsoft Live Retail Store with PC Services for Digital Lifestyle Enthusiasts.
- Fashioned after Microsoft’s User Account Control (UAC) in Vista, sales personnel will ask you whether you’re positive you want to purchase something at least twice.
- Xbox 360 section of the store will be organized in a ring – which will inexplicably go red occasionally.
- DreamWorks will design a scary in-store theme park ride called “blue screen of death.”
- Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked.
Seriously though, a Microsoft retail store will be very different from Apple stores simply by virtue of the fact that Microsoft is primarily a software purveyor while Apple primarily sells hardware. You know, stuff you can see and touch. Stuff like you would find in a retail store.
So what would a Microsoft store look like? Zunes, Xboxes, keyboards and mice with all kinds software. In boxes. Hey here’s an idea: they could demo that spiffy software on something that will really show it off to best effect.
Like, say, an iMac.
I’ll admit it – I love technology. I collect technology. Over the years I’ve managed to collect a fairly impressive amount of antique technology. The problem is that what I consider antique (like my 
PCMag.com has this article entitled 
